This is a letter exchange between a husband and wife. It is a fun little read that should really get you chuckling once you reach the second letter.
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years but I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … And then your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today…ughhh that was the last straw!
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, I had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate quickly in just 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, Later for you….I’m gone!
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. In the hellish 7 years that we have been married, a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone…and all I found was your lousy letter.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. By the way, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was actually born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
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