Attention Hipsters: Science Confirms Beards Are Filled With Fecal Bacteria

Hipsters – listen up! Your beard is dirty.

In fact, according to a new study, beards contain just as much fecal matter as a toilet. KOAT 7 reports that a microbiologist made the shocking discovery in a New Mexico lab by analyzing swabs from beards under a microscope.

“I’m usually not surprised, and I was surprised by this,” said John Golobic with Quest Diagnostics.

While some beards had normal amounts of bacteria, others had enough to cause serious illness. Here are our takeaways:

1. Ladies – make sure that beard is CLEAN before there’s any exchange of saliva, and ESPECIALLY if there’s anything going on downstairs.

2. Gents – don’t be gross. Scrub a dub dub! If you’re strongly pro-beard, hand washing and a through beard scrubbing are encouraged to keep it clean.

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