Society often puts huge demands on women: they have to be mothers, wives, daughters, friends, bosses… These demands can really break women down, and that’s why we should forget about them. Julia Sviyash writes about exactly this idea.
We publish a list of nine rules that may change your life and how you view yourself.
1. A real woman doesn’t chase happiness.
The pursuit of happiness is the most popular and the silliest sport. All of us run: for a better future, for tomorrow, for the next year. A real woman ignores this kind of ’sport.’ She lives in the present day.
2. The present moment is the most interesting and important thing to her.
Of course, she has plans for the future, but she won’t wait for tomorrow: she lives today. She knows that ’When I lose weight…’ and ’When I meet a perfect man…’ are not reasons to waste her life.
3. Being a real woman is a privilege, and she understands it.
She admires and appreciates the fact that she was born a woman. To be a woman is not only to behave like a woman. She knows it, and she feels it. Being a real woman to her is not an ordeal: it’s a gift. She cultivates her femininity at all levels: internal (emotions, feelings, thoughts) and external (body, clothing, behavior).
4. She lives at her own pace.
When the pace of life is too slow, we cannot enjoy it. When it’s too fast, we don’t have time to enjoy it. Each of us has our own pace of life. A real woman feels it and lives in harmony with it. She manages the events in her life the way she needs to, and she sets the pace to the circumstances.
A real woman lives in a way to make all her wishes come true and not lose her appetite for life. The most important thing in her actions is understanding the meaning and the reason of her behavior.
5. She is her own #1.
And it doesn’t mean she’s selfish, insensitive, indifferent, or cynical. She just knows that behind the excessive desire to interfere with the affairs of others lies a fear of living her own life. She’s interested in her life. She never forgets that her personal space is precious. And despite everything, she’s able to support, help, and sympathize with others.
She never says ’yes’ if her heart says ’no,’ and she always listens to herself and trusts her feelings.
6. She doesn’t need a ’checklist’ to show to others.
Every girl gets this ’checklist’ in childhood — from parents, teachers, neighbors, relatives, friends, and colleagues. And women devote their whole lives to marking off items on these ’checklists.’ A real woman doesn’t need it, because she lets others check the boxes: single or married, successful or not successful…
A real woman has her own life goals; she creates and achieves them. And if her goals don’t meet the standards of society…well, that’s not her problem. She allows others to evaluate her the way they want. She knows that it’s impossible to make everybody like her.
A real woman works on herself, but she never does it to get anyone’s approval. She does it because she loves herself.
7. She grew out of being a ’good girl.’
A ’good girl’ is a daughter. She has one task: to be good enough to get approval, even if her own desires are totally opposite. A ’good girl’ lives according either to the principle ’I should’ or ’I shouldn’t.’ She rarely asks herself what she actually wants.
A real woman left her inner ’good girl’ in the past, as well as the constant search for approval and praise. She doesn’t ignore others’ opinions about her; she simply doesn’t prove anything to anyone, especially against her own interests.
Talking about her features (we used to call them ’drawbacks’ – and who doesn’t have any?), she treats them leniently. A real woman sees them, but she’s not dramatic about them. She doesn’t hide them, but at the same time doesn’t expose them to the world.
8. Aloneness is a gift to her.
A real woman loves and appreciates the time when she’s alone. She doesn’t try to bring random people into her life in order not to stay on her own. Having time with oneself is good. It’s the best time to recover and fill her life with calm and meaning.
9. She loves her age. Always.
A real woman benefits from her age. She doesn’t think that doing something at 20 or 60 is ’too late’ or ’too early.’ It’s just an excuse for those who use their age to hide fear or inner taboos.
A real woman can do everything at any age. That’s why she has no regrets about things she had no time to do. She still can do them! It doesn’t mean she doesn’t look after herself and doesn’t try to look good. She just doesn’t pretend she’s 20 years younger both in appearance and behavior. She knows that every age has its own beauty, sexuality, and charm.
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