Funny Archive
A cowboy rides his horse into a small town. His throat is parched, so he ties his horse to a pole next to a bar and goes in for a drink. He comes out a few minutes later, and someone already stole his …
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer’s excitement, not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother of the bride EVER! A week …
(I get dispatched to a call: ‘1-year-old male, possibly crying’. We got on scene, and the mother opens the front door with a happy and healthy baby in her arms.) Me: “Hi, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?” Mother: “Well, my …
No one believes seniors… everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old …
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets …
A woman dies after a long illness, and finds herself just outside of heaven, at the pearly gates. As she peers inside, she sees people she knew from her life on earth enjoying themselves, laughing and looking quite happy. Just then, St Peter …
I showed up to a hair cutting place. It was one of the typical chains. I walk in, and there is one hairdresser and one guy getting his hair cut by her. The lady told me to sign a paper, and she would …
So, I was in the dressing room at Nordstrom’s, and I heard an obviously wealthy woman berating the poor salesperson. She entered the dressing room next to me. She started to talk, on her phone, to someone. “You would just not believe what …
I noticed my gas tank almost empty, so I pulled into a station behind the car in front of me. There were two pumps open on the end, so I kept following the car in front until the car stopped at the first …
My girlfriend was supposed to have maternity photos taken one day, but she forgot and made other plans – so the photographer did them with me instead. I felt it was only right to at least try to look a little pregnant, so …
