Everyone loves a good joke now and then. If you need a laugh, these jokes will be sure to tickle your funny bone.
1. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
2. Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, “I think we got this joke wrong.”
3. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
4. I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said, “Thanks.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
5. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
6. I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have a beer.
7. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
8. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
9. My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t.”
10. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
11. How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Is it one or two? One… or two?
12. What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
13. So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world.
14. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?