45 Of The Funniest “Clean” Jokes You Will Ever Read

Everyone loves a good joke now and then.  If you need a laugh, these jokes will be sure to tickle your funny bone.

1. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

funny clean jokes

2. Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, “I think we got this joke wrong.”

3. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

4. I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said, “Thanks.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

5. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

funny clean jokes

6. I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have a beer.

7. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

8. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

9. My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No it doesn’t.”

funny clean jokes

10. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

11. How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one or two? One… or two?

12. What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?


13. So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world.

funny clean jokes

14. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.